I stood in the edge of the water, feeling like I could give myself to the outgoing tide. The sky was gray and the water was dark, and I could feel shells collecting at my feet as they sunk down into the green and black swirls of darkness. It was warm, not like the cool black spots in a lake that make you quiver when you swim into one. Waves crashed fiercely behind me but gently pulled me forward on their way back out. How badly I wanted to stretch out my arms, tuck my head under and swim, swim until every muscle in my body ached for me to stop.
Instead, I walked along the shore and gathered shells. I also pretended that I wasn't thinking about real life, just as my husband hoped I would do. See, he's stronger than I am. He's calm in the face of a storm and I'm not. I let fear linger in my head and in my heart too long. He knows that if he doesn't create a diversion for me, I will drown in that fear. That's what this trip to the ocean was about . . . quiet, peace, safety, beauty, strength, blessings, comfort, love . . .
How could you feel anything less when you're standing on the shores of something so magnificent and so beautiful with the one person who totally understands why you are there.
ps...I am so thankful for your heartfelt comments on my last post. Our family is struggling right now with storms that never seem to end, so your kind and thoughtful comments mean the world to me. Thank you. xo